Sleepy...

Been extremely tired the last few days. I slept a lot at the weekend because I could, took a sleeping pill on Sunday night so I could get rested for work on Monday, and accidentally slept too long today and was a bit late for work.

I've also started sneezing, sniffing and having itchy eyes again so I'm wondering if hayfever has suddenly come upon me, although I always thought my hayfever was around April/May, not March... unless it's cat allergies again.

I'm sat at my desk trying really hard to stay awake, though I wonder if that's "food sleeps" - the other younger colleagues and myself went out for burgers and fries - and I got a milkshake to sip casually this afternoon, which I just finished after near 2 hours of casual sipping - as a sort of goodbye lunch. The food was fantastic but now I'm so sleepy...

My friend put it a good way - red meat, carbs and dairy must be good insomnia busters. I should bear that in mind.

Last night I managed to get some nude coloured bras which I desperately needed for my new work gear. I actually got two nude and one black, and another Uniqlo Airism vest top in white (have two nude and one black already). I had to stop myself from buying pretty tights while I was there, even though I really want some.

I ended up going to Marks and Spencers since I wanted practical bras that wouldn't break the bank, and my friends have raved about M&S's comfort levels.

But I have to say that on the whole their bras aren't for me. Out of the 5 I tried on, only 2 fit properly, and there were only 5 in the whole store that I could wear as work bras. The rest didn't particularly tickle my fancy either, so I'm back to wondering why people rave about them so much. I suppose two pluses for them/raving about them are their 2-packs and the fact that they go up to very large cup sizes...

My allowance has come in so I am a bit tempted to go to Victoria's Secret, since it'll be at least a year before I can go there again... Although, something I have noticed with their bras is that the back strap and shoulder straps stretch very easily, so much so I now have to wear them on tighter settings. This normally happens with bras as they wear out and the elastic stretches, but I think my VS bras win the award for it happening the quickest.

Alex Monroe

I was impulsively window shopping with a friend yesterday - it was so impulsive that I was out, got back to my home-station and through the ticket barriers when I got her message and went straight back on the tube!

She introduced me to a jewellery brand I had never heard of before - Alex Monroe.

And I am now smitten.

Her birthday is not long after Christmas, so she's planning on putting a piece of Alex Monroe jewellery on her Christmas/birthday list - a lovely idea, especially as her upcoming birthday is her 25th. She wants something timeless and classy that can be worn everyday and I think she's picked the right brand for it.

I'm now toying with the idea of getting one myself. Thing is, my family don't celebrate Christmas really. Although us siblings will buy things for each other, I doubt any of them want to fork out over £100 (!) for a necklace for me.

That being said, I won't be able to wear either of my normal "everyday" necklaces once I move to Japan. One is a collection of 3 silver pendants on a silver chain from perhaps my favourite Japanese jewellery brand, Lemontree (a heart-shaped key, an angel wing and a crown). The other was from my sister for my 23rd birthday, a matryoshka (Russian stacking doll - I love them) - gold and silver on a long gold chain, with a pink crystal for the mouth and the bottom of it (where the metal is silver) is covered in clear crystals.

Beautiful, signature, but not suitable for a conservative workplace.

And I am one of these people who has worn a necklace of some kind for so long that I can't not wear a necklace. I do have one which I wear for interviews - also bought in Japan - which is a short silver chain with a tiny silver engagement ring (with a moonstone, for my birth-month) and a tiny silver wedding ring with clear stones running along the band. My mother bought it for me when we first visited Japan.

But, if I did want/could justify an Alex Monroe necklace, I think these are the front runners (they all come in silver, which I am leaning towards since silver is my go-to metal for jewellery, but the gold is lovely...):

Apple with peridot stone

Goldcrest with a pink sapphire and pink topaz
Leaning more towards this cause I've always wanted a sapphire....

Strawberry with pink tourmaline

Teapot with brown sapphire "teadrop"
Again, leaning more towards this because of the sapphire

Pomegranate flower with fire opal, carnelian and pink tourmaline
I love the flower, but I don't like the stones so much...

Then I had a look at their rings. Last year I lost a ring that I had been wearing almost constantly since I was 12, and then the replacement disappeared too. Right now I wear a thumb ring to replace it, but I miss having a right-ring-finger ring, and, in my opinion, a thumb ring isn't as formal or "conservative" as a thumb ring (I say "conservative" since I have to keep that in mind for my new job in March since that is the dress code). I came across these two, because I like rings that are wide, none of these dainty tiny little bands for me!

Wide bark ring with Tsavorite
Never heard of Tsavorite!

Grassblade ring with blue topaz

If I had to narrow them down, I think I know which necklaces I'd prefer. Am wondering if I should wait til I get to Japan to buy my jewellery or not though - I know I love the jewellery in Japan, but once I leave, I want to only use the money I'm taking with me for necessities for the home or for experiences rather than things. I suppose my dad did ask me about a going-away present... and, if I had to be very harsh with myself, I do have that mini-ring necklace I could use as a conservative necklace...

So tired

Had a bit of a rough week, although my mid-week post didn't really highlight that cause it wasn't such a problem then.

I'm actually too tired to write properly, but I've had a really good day. I met my colleague's girlfriend this morning and we all went on a tour of a disused London Underground station - which was interesting - and then for lunch - which was yummy.

Then I ended up travelling back to my local station when I got a text from a friend saying she was going to do some window shopping for her Christmas wish list so I hopped back on the train and went back into central. Bought a nail varnish and then sat with a chai latte in Starbucks watching Grey's Anatomy on my Kindle Fire (yay!) until it was time to meet her.

Ended up buying an Yves Saint Laurent concealer cause apparently they're really good. Will see...!

Now am just curled up on the sofa with what looks like a ridiculously bad film on in the background and under my aviator throw until I can muster the energy to do some washing up and then might actually head to bed for an early night~

Finally...

My allowance came in, so I tried getting an Oasis dress I've had my eye on for a few months, but the one I went into didn't have my size. Might try getting it tomorrow.

To celebrate having some money for fun, I decided to use a supermarket recipe card to make a "New York Cheesecake". It's cooling in the oven now, before I can transfer it to the fridge to cool overnight.

Thing is, I don't have any containers big enough to take it into work.... I could just cover it in the tin it's in and take it all in as it is. Gonna be cumbersome though. I guess I could take in a few pieces tomorrow and a few pieces on Friday, but then it's not really fair if not everyone gets a piece at the same time... is it?

... if I can't find the dress tomorrow, should I order it online? I get 15% off in store but not online, even though they have it in my size online...

Things I want vs things I should be doing with my money...

Things I want:

• Hourglass Opaque Rouge Liquid Lipstick. Ideally two, in Raven (red) and Icon (purple-red)
• 4 dresses from Oasis. I don't want to buy all 4 (yet), but I at least want to try on all 4. And knowing my luck I won't buy any. I tried on 2 that had been on my wishlist for a long time at the weekend and they both looked really bad on me. Wrong tailoring for my shape.
• Clinique Chubby Stick Intense. Yes! Shortly after saying I wanted to get a red (and maybe more) in the normal, the intense shades came out! I really want the red. It's a lovely red. I only need a few more Boots points to get one for free... I think Mightiest Marachino is the shade I want.
• Clinique Almost Lipstick in Black Honey. Black Honey is probably my favourite Clinique colour ever. Ever. I almost cried when I broke my Black Honey gradient blush palette on the bathroom floor (it shattered) because I waited too long to buy a replacement (trying to be a "good girl" and saving money) and couldn't find it anymore
• Karl Lagerfeld for Shu Uemura painting liner

Things I should be doing with my money:

• Replacing the money I took out of my savings when money was a bit tight last week.
• Adding more money to my savings
• Gradually buying things I need for Japan e.g. suits, smart tights, shirts, shoes, shoe polishing kit...

As you can see, with the purchase of 4 different MAC eye products over the last couple of months, I now want to indulge in beautiful autumn/winter lip colours. For me, autumn/winter make up colours are reds and purples. And now I want purple/red lips. Granted, I do already have some red and purple lipsticks, I guess I should make more of an effort to wear them. My Voluptuous Violet Chubby Stick is getting a lot of use these days - I feel like proper lipstick might be a bit too much for work...

I caved!

I was supposed to be being good and not buying anything superfluous until December - my recent shoe escapade ended in me buying two pairs of ankle boots - one I am kind of kicking myself over. More on that another day...

For work, I've only been wearing my tinted moisturiser, unless my skin is incredibly blotchy or troublesome, which, thankfully, hasn't been that often recently. So I use my Illamasqua peach pigment to cover discolouration from acne and then top with tinted moisturiser all over my face.

cream pigment in "emerge". It's actually a tad brighter than in this photo

This hasn't been working as well as it used to. Originally I used an egg-shaped sponge to apply the pigment - it's a cream pigment - but found I was tugging the skin under my eyes too much, so switched to a concealer brush. The concealer brush irritated my eyes a little because it was prickly when I used it and would make my eyes water. So I've been using my finger.

Using the middle or index finger to cover the blemishes on my cheeks and chin is fine - there's not enough coverage for the under-eye though.

And, to be blunt, on its own it's just not enough to cover the dark patches. I'd gotten to the point where I would feel glum every time I saw myself in the mirror - I would instantly focus on my chin and the dark bags under my eyes which my eye cream is doing nothing to fix.

After being intrigued by a concealer from NARS yesterday, I decided that on my lunch break I would pop out to my local Space.NK to try it out.

And decided to buy it.

stick concealer in "caramel"

The plan is to use the peach pigment first, then layer the caramel-coloured NARS concealer on top, and finish with my tinted moisturiser.

I'm a bit concerned that the concealer may lack when it comes to applying it under the eyes - the woman in the shop said make sure to warm up the concealer before applying it under the eyes, so I might have to rub it on my hands and then use a brush to apply it. Which feels a bit time-consuming and potentially wasteful...

I'm hoping to have the time/energy to do a photo-entry of the process, but for now, it's just the shop photos...

• Emerge - peach cream pigment from Illamasqua, £17
• Caramel - concealer from NARS (bought at Space.NK), £17.50

It's become essential!

Today I really have to buy a new pair of everyday shoes - the right one of my current pair has a hole in and the hole goes all the way through to the inside of the shoe...

My insole sticks out of the hole and when it rains, I end up with a wet foot :(

Like now, because I went out for lunch just as it started raining.

Camper, here I come! (after work)

Dress of the Day: Tuesday (updated)

Yes, I'm behind again... Cause I'm still under the weather T^T

Tuesday's dress was the first of my new collection to be worn.

Jacquard floral floppy dress, size 12, £38

(I don't have a full length mirror in my room, and I don't like to disturb my sis to use her mirror if she's in her room. Besides, she's usually asleep or still in bed when I get ready for work. She's a PhD student so works from home)

*added a picture of the detail on the dress :)

Last week's shopping haul

I'm a bit behind with posting... I've gotten really bad at managing my time! When I'm not meeting up with people or at work my body just seems to want to sleep as much as possible.

Above is last week's shopping haul! I think I'm going through one of my routine "changeover" phases, where I want a new wardrobe, new accessories, new make up... It's probably because I'm starting a full-time job this week. Anyway, all of these are work appropriate (yay!) though the dress maybe is a bit smart for it, so as long as I can dress it down (e.g. with a cardigan and flats and casual day-time make up) then it should be ok.

It actually needs a couple of darts sewn in on the bust because at the moment it's very unflattering.

I'm gonna post detailed pics of each item as I start to wear them. For some reason I haven't felt like wearing them lately, which is silly, cause I've been dying for new clothes. I think I just haven't felt amazing lately (weight issues etc) which is why I've been putting it off.

Also, must apologise for the continued use of phone photos - my camera is still at my parents' apartment.

Quickie

I got bitten by the shopping bug a couple of weeks ago, and my weekend indulgence (post to follow!) has satisfied some of the cravings...

Just checked my bank balance and my money for this month is in. Do I indulge further..? Logic is telling me not to!

Though... I do have my eye on this:

Clinique's chubby sticks! I already have voluptuous violet (#16) and oversized orange (#12), but I have my eye on a red one, either two ton tomato or chunky cherry...

I'll let you know if I give in to temptation...!

No retail therapy for me...

Retail therapy used to be one of my biggest vices. Any time I felt a bit sad or low - for someone with manic depression, this happens a fair bit - I'd buy something pretty.

About a month ago my doctor and I decided it was time to switch antidepressants. I'm (hopefully) moving to Japan at the end of the year, for a minimum of one year, and the antidepressants I was on are unavailable in Japan for some reason, even though ones with a very similar chemical structure are available.

So I've switched onto the ones I can get in Japan, so we can see how well I take to them.

I had a really, really rough 3+ weeks while I came off the other ones, and I'm still not completely back to functioning near 100%. I'm tired a lot, with random body pains, which makes it hard to keep high-spirited.

Hopefully within another week I'll be back to "normal".

Anyway, since I didn't have a job for a few months my savings ran out and I've had to watch every penny. Sure, I get an allowance from my dad (until I find a full-time job that can support living wherever I am), but I can't spend it as frivolously as I thought I could, and even now that I have a temp job, I'm still counting the pennies.

So even though I accompanied a friend pre-holiday shopping yesterday, and even though I saw some dresses I want, I didn't buy anything. I guess our post-shopping meal was a treat though (ate way too much in the end! D'oh).

....with my spending down to the essentials, my wish list on Amazon keeps getting longer and longer, haha :P