Sleepy...

Been extremely tired the last few days. I slept a lot at the weekend because I could, took a sleeping pill on Sunday night so I could get rested for work on Monday, and accidentally slept too long today and was a bit late for work.

I've also started sneezing, sniffing and having itchy eyes again so I'm wondering if hayfever has suddenly come upon me, although I always thought my hayfever was around April/May, not March... unless it's cat allergies again.

I'm sat at my desk trying really hard to stay awake, though I wonder if that's "food sleeps" - the other younger colleagues and myself went out for burgers and fries - and I got a milkshake to sip casually this afternoon, which I just finished after near 2 hours of casual sipping - as a sort of goodbye lunch. The food was fantastic but now I'm so sleepy...

My friend put it a good way - red meat, carbs and dairy must be good insomnia busters. I should bear that in mind.

Last night I managed to get some nude coloured bras which I desperately needed for my new work gear. I actually got two nude and one black, and another Uniqlo Airism vest top in white (have two nude and one black already). I had to stop myself from buying pretty tights while I was there, even though I really want some.

I ended up going to Marks and Spencers since I wanted practical bras that wouldn't break the bank, and my friends have raved about M&S's comfort levels.

But I have to say that on the whole their bras aren't for me. Out of the 5 I tried on, only 2 fit properly, and there were only 5 in the whole store that I could wear as work bras. The rest didn't particularly tickle my fancy either, so I'm back to wondering why people rave about them so much. I suppose two pluses for them/raving about them are their 2-packs and the fact that they go up to very large cup sizes...

My allowance has come in so I am a bit tempted to go to Victoria's Secret, since it'll be at least a year before I can go there again... Although, something I have noticed with their bras is that the back strap and shoulder straps stretch very easily, so much so I now have to wear them on tighter settings. This normally happens with bras as they wear out and the elastic stretches, but I think my VS bras win the award for it happening the quickest.

Procrastinating

My brain really doesn't seem to want to be at work any more. I guess it's just like when you're at school or university and the exams are over but you still have to go to class, even though you know you'll be out of there so soon so you can't make yourself concentrate.

Right now at work, except for the odd task from my supervisor, I'm just writing out my handover notes and tidying everything up.

Actually as of half an hour ago my notes were all finished and I'm just reading them over now in case I've forgotten anything or something doesn't make sense.

But mostly I'm wasting time on the internet and thinking about all the things I need to do before I leave one week today.

That's so soon! And I'm not completely ready yet! What should I do? I feel like I have no time at all! And I'm trying to fit in seeing a lot of different people after work and I think all of a sudden all my evenings are full up... which means I don't have an evening to go back to London Bridge to my parents' apartment for the last of my things :/ I guess there's always the weekend for that...

So much to do, so little time/concentration! Doesn't help that this weekend I felt the urge to sleep a ridiculous amount so I did...

Appearance

I have to admit, I've not been taking that much care over my appearance lately. I think it was a combination of the flu/throat virus tiring me out, the optician telling me I had to stop wearing contact lenses for a little bit, and maybe just my own apathy/lethargy/depression (apparently this plays a factor and I can understand that - when I'm feeling low I sleep more and so have less time or can't be bothered to make myself look nicer).

I shouldn't let that stop me though. Fact is, when I've put a bit more effort into what I'm wearing or how I look, I tend to feel a bit better about myself. I know it's silly that make up can have that effect, but it does.

I think my ankle has had a lot to do with it in the last couple of weeks. Because of the pain in my ankle, I can't stand still for very long - even standing at the sink to brush my teeth or wash my face was too much: I ended up sitting on the (closed) toilet while I brushed my teeth and switched to skincare that didn't need water (Lush's Ultrabland, which I was using to cure the red blotches on my skin), so I could take care of my face while lying in bed with my ankles propped up.

I'd even been skipping showers/baths cause it's too painful standing in the shower trying to keep my balance, and sometimes I just didn't want to be lying around in the bath.

But I decided to push myself into having a bath and washing my hair - even redyed it this weekend, before my roots started majorly showing! And tonight I'm gonna wash it again, after doing my laundry and hoovering my room. Not been able to hoover it and every time I want to do laundry the machine is either being used, or people are coming to view the flat so don't really want my delicates on display for strangers...

Last night for the first time in a while I painted my nails (subtly sparkly powder blue) and looking at them today makes me feel better. I'm also wearing little pumps instead of my trainers, which I've been wearing constantly for nearly 2 weeks. Hard to feel nice and ladylike when wearing proper trainers!

Tonight I hope to do a bit more pampering/preening and maybe tomorrow I can finally put in some contacts and put on some make up. I've just been neglecting myself a bit lately. I've been indulging in resting when I can, and of course can't do much with my ankles, so it's made me feel a bit down lately - the rest I'm getting because of my ankles actually bores me cause I'd rather be doing other things before I leave the country in 12 days...

I'm looking into some new haircare too, cause, despite having my hair cut recently and conditioning it regularly, I've got split ends and they just look tatty and frizzy even if they're not splitting...

Accident-prone

I fell down the stairs on Friday on my way to work. What happened was I cause the end of my boot on the edge of the stair and fell a few stairs with that foot twisted under me, so the ankle, bent at the wrong angle, took all of my body weight and I banged into the radiator at the bottom of the stairs.

I shouted out but my sister was asleep with earplugs in so couldn't hear me. The cat came running up to me though and ran up to my face to make sure I was ok, and even tried to leave the house with me. So cute of her~~

I managed a day at work and a contact lens check up, where I got more bad news. My lenses are fine, but the ophthalmologist said there's something stuck in my cornea and I have to go to hospital to have it taken out. I'm putting it off a little though to see if the problem resolves itself cause I can't feel anything and my eyes aren't watering or painful for anything like that.

My sis said her ophthalmologist told her to go to the eye hospital too when she had abrasions on her eye but she didn't bother and it fixed itself, so I'm going to take a break from contact lenses and add eye drops daily and go back and see them on Thursday morning. If they tell me then that I need to go to hospital, then I will.

I've been giving my foot a lot of rest. My sister taught me how to bandage an ankle (pretty easy but I'd never done it before) and we iced it and put some freeze gel on it and it's already so much better with much less swelling. I still can't walk properly, but at least I don't have to use my umbrella as a walking stick any more.

Full of pancakes

Less than one month til I move to Tokyo!

Don't really have time to say much more than that, just waiting for a document I need to proofread and then I'm getting ready for bed.

Happy Pancake Day! I'm stuffed.

Back at work

I'm back at work after 2 weeks of holiday. It's only the second day - only the first full day for me, mind - and all I want to do is go home and sleep!

I'm exhausted! I'm still having insomnia but forcing myself out of bed to not be late for work in the mornings. Yesterday I at least had time to wash my face properly and take all my supplements, but not this morning.

There's things I need to do, but I'm busy every night this week :( which also means no gym for me. I've been trying to find the drive to get myself to the gym for a while now. The closest I've come to working out was a 2 mile walk I took on Sunday to the nearest open train station (my station was closed as part of engineering works). Was a nice walk for sure, and just the push I needed. But now I'm too busy seeing friends and family to go to the gym this week. Except for possibly Thursday, and perhaps Friday, but I do have something scheduled as a maybe on both days.

The doctor gave me some sleeping pills to try and reset my body clock. These pills worked really well last time, but I lost the pack so she gave me a prescription for some more. Now I just need to find the time to go get the prescription filled! Hopefully tomorrow at lunch I'll have some time.

I would have gone today at lunch but I spent this lunch chatting to my colleague while we both ate in the kitchen, and then filling in a medical customs declaration for Japan...

...because I've booked my ticket now (!). After some initial confusion as to whether or not I was supposed to wait for my Certificate of Eligibility (turns out it's my choice but it only arrives about a month before your departure date), I decided to go ahead and book it. So I have the date I'm leaving London, provided nothing goes wrong with the Certificate.

Monday March 11th.

So I've been trying to get things organised as much as possible. Checked in with my doctor yesterday, filled out as much as I can of the medical customs form, bought 3 smart skirts, have made a note of other smart clothes etc I have my eye on... informed supervisor at work of when I would like my last day of work to be...

Speaking of work, I should get back to it. But I'm just not enthused about work right now. I need to rest.

Food info from Boots WebMD

Finally remembered to bookmark the Boots WebMD page so I could put some of the info on here.

1. High fat foods aren't the worst for belly fat. The worst are alcohol (especially beer) and calorie-dense foods. Genetics, diet and lifestyle all play a role.
2. Sugary drinks and oversized portions are also bad. Alcohol however has a particular association with fat around the abdomen - the liver is working too hard burning off alcohol and then doesn't burn off the fat.
3. Salads can be bad if eaten at a place that drowns them in dressing e.g. typical crispy chicken bacon salad with Caesar dressing and a large soft drink would have around 540 calories and 35g of fat, and is worse for you than 3 hamburgers.
4. Trans-fats are the worst kinds of fats for belly fat. They can redistribute fat from other parts of the body to around the abdomen. They can be found in margarine, pastries, biscuits, crackers or fried and convenience food.
5. Green tea, blueberries and soy all show promise for reducing belly fat but more research is needed.
6. Fast foods are bad for belly fat because they are typically high-fat, calorie-dense, and come in large portions.
7. Whole grains are better than refined grains i.e., brown pasta and brown bread are better for you than white pasta and white bread.
8. Popcorn is actually a whole grain food and can be good for fending off belly fat. But not if it's smothered in butter or toffee etc. Whole grains tend to be better because they're high in fibre and take longer to digest, satisfying hunger and helps you more efficiently use blood glucose, lowering blood glucose levels and reducing fat.
9. Men are more prone to storing belly fat than women. Women before 40 tend to store fat in hips, thighs and buttocks, but after 40 the body fat is redistributed to the belly when oestrogen levels drop.
10. Belly fat is usually the first thing to go when you begin losing weight. Belly fat is typically a "visceral" fat - more metabolically active type than others, so is easier to lose.
11. Strengthening your core muscles helps to hold in the belly fat, but not to lose it. Aerobic exercises (running, swimming, cycling, tennis) are some of the best to reduce belly fat.
12. Belly fat is more dangerous than fat around the hips and thighs because it is "visceral", which wraps around the inner organs. It produces hormones and chemicals that can cause hormonal and blood chemistry imbalances and inflammation. Researchers think the belly fat's location near the portal vein (carries blood to the liver from the intestines) makes it easier for fatty acids produced in the breakdown of belly fat to travel to the liver, where they can raise the amount of fat in the blood.
13. Belly fat has been linked to heart disease, dementia and osteoporosis, diabetes, bowel cancer, metabolic syndrome, high blood pressure and other health problems.
14. Cutting calories and getting more physical exercise is the best way to reduce belly fat. Most scientific evidence suggests that a calorie-controlled diet rich in fruits, veg, whole grains, low-fat dairy, beans, nuts, seeds, lean meat, fish, eggs and poultry is the foundation to reduce the waistline, combined with 150 minutes of exercise across most days of the week.

Food Changes

My sis's friend drove us to the supermarket yesterday. It's not far, but the fact that he drove us meant we could stock up with as much as we wanted. I might have gone a bit overboard because I bought £65 worth of food and drink...

I've decided to try eating more fruit and more fish. Before I started eating meat again (from the ages of 19-23 I was pescetarian) I used to eat a lot more fish, but now that I eat meat, and can eat meat anywhere due to having no religious constraints any more - I tend to default to eating (red) meat whenever I can. And I'm notoriously bad for remembering to eat fruit or veg.

Granted, I only bought 3 carrots this time, but I did buy a lot of fruit. Strawberries, green apples, red grapes and clementines. One of our brothers got my sis a juicer for Christmas (granted, not a juicer she particularly wanted...), and my first thought was to make strawberry and apple juice, which is a personal favourite of mine.

I'm also hoping to eat 3 regular meals a day instead of 1-2 because of lack of energy or time. Today I managed to wake up early and had 2 beef sausages, half a tin of sweetcorn, half a small tin of baked beans and a fried egg. I'm still not hungry and I had that nearly 6 hours ago! But I will try and eat a late lunch soon.

Lunch will be grilled mackerel fillets with white rice.

I tried to base my food shopping somewhat on some good advice I saw on Boot's WebMD site. I'll try and post the advice they gave here. It was in the form of a quiz - I got less than half the questions right which shows how much I knew about the right diet!

Full House

My sis is back from Indonesia, which is really nice :) She got back yesterday morning and her friend has been staying here with us to spend time with her. It's really nice having the house full again - the cat is super energetic again too. I think she got too used to just lying around with me and then there would be nothing else going on in the rest of the house.

Friday

I'm not at work again today. I had ridiculous nightmares last night and then found it hard to be awake and not in intense physical pain. I was sick, but nothing came out cause there wasn't much in my stomach.

So I'm at home, and trying hard to stay positive. I'm gonna have a meeting with my supervisor on Monday so we can be up to date on the grant programme I'm working on. So, I'm already planning  what I need to prepare.

My allergies are back in full swing, so I'm going to give the kitty her allergy bath and wash my bedding. Later I'm gonna make some food and clean the house.

Wrapping the cat in paper sellotape is an incredible thing for cheering me up. Since it's paper sellotape it doesn't stick well to fur, but enough chin to make her hyperactive.

I started using my blu-light again. It's supposed to be good for SAD.

Productive things I've done today

as mundane and expected as they may be, but are still an achievement for me:

• ate breakfast 
• washed my face properly
•  confided about what I feel is a weakness to my supervisor
•  took all of my pills and supplements, not just the essentials
• made my bed for the first time in who knows how long
• finally put my clean laundry away
• did all the washing up
•  made myself eat a proper meal before going out

and now an waiting for my facemask to dry and then will shower.

Saturday night...

And I'm at home sat up in bed studying cause it's cold and I have a Japanese exam tomorrow!

Not studied at all since I started my job... and cramming doesn't work for me but I'm trying to do it anyway... and I fell asleep for ages earlier cause I just couldn't keep my eyes open despite getting a lot of sleep last night...

So, I think I'm gonna fail. But studying right now is kind of making me want to actually study when the pressure is off, so that's a good thing at least, right?

Should probably eat a real meal soon, I just had 12 yummy biscuits which had thick slabs of chocolate on top to keep me going while studying. Not the healthiest thing to have had...

Here's hoping yesterday's duck/rice lunch is ok despite me forgetting to put it in the fridge overnight... :/

Such a numpty!

Hair dye

I've been slacking off again, with everything. Well, everything not work-related.

So I've not been studying, I've not been blogging...

I just about made time to pamper myself a little, and tonight I'm finally going to dye my hair again!

My natural hair colour is - of course, since I'm of South Asian descent - very dark brown, bordering on black if not seen in natural or bright light. When I was still at school, I always wanted to dye my hair different colours, which is something my sister actually did instead of dreaming it. For almost any bright colour to show, I would have had to bleach my hair, like she did, so I ended up not doing it. It was too much hassle, I was scared of ruining my hair with super strong bleach, and the school got incredibly pissed off when my sister dyed her hair.

(at our school we had to wear uniform until we were 16, and then the rules about hair were a bit more relaxed as well. My sister started dying her hair green, blue, red etc when she was still in uniform, so there were a lot of senior staff complaints)

Then in my second year of uni (19 years old) I decided to finally dye it red. Not a firetruck red, mind, but something red that would show. My mum first suggested using henna, which is what she did when she started to go grey (a very traditional South Asian thing to do). I tried it, but it just made my hair dark brown and it smelt like henna (which I associate with mud) for ages. So I asked some friends for advice, and they recommended I try Schwarzkopf.

Anyone who knows a teeny tiny bit of German might see why someone with my natural hair colour was recommended a brand called "black head". The dyes come in different shades depending on your natural hair colour, so if you're anything from light blonde to dark brown to black, you should be able to find a shade which will show up on your hair.

Perfect for me!

And ever since I've continued dying my hair with 43, Red Passion. And gotten many compliments about it.

Sadly, it's now a very popular shade - yesterday I had to go to 3 different Boots to find it. And then a new type of their hair dye caught my eye, next to the other reds. (My one has a different picture on the box...)

A red hair dye with natural lightening in it, no need for an extra bleach step (which I don't do anyway). So I thought, why not! Although, since my hair is already mostly dyed - except for the inch of roots which is driving me mental, though since my hair is naturally dark anyway and the red isn't bright, it's not as bad as it could be - this could go horribly wrong.

If it goes wrong, I'm dying my entire head a nice light shade of brown.

We'll see.

Complexion Woes

I've not been making the time to write lately, which is a bit bad. It's good for me to have a routine, but right now my routine is work, laze around at home, sleep, go to work. And then the weekends are sleep and be lazy.

Not good!

So I joined the gym this week and am hoping to go for my first session tomorrow daytime.

At the moment, my skin is really irking me. I have deep lines under my eyes, as well as seriously dark circles, and my acne has come back under my jaw. But only on the right side...

I've been looking at some face-maps and most of them say that acne under the jaw is hormonal, though it can sometimes be kidney problems. I doubt I'm having any kidney issues, so it might be hormones. Again.

Though my sis did say she used to get a lot of acne in the same area when she was drinking coffee everyday. I don't drink coffee, but have been drinking a lot of tea lately to keep me perky at work. So, starting today, I'm going to cut tea out of my diet. I used to have the occasional cup of Assam, so will stick to that and caffeine free drinks.

Seeing my doctor in about 10 days so will ask her about it. If I can wait that long without going crazy! I'm worried it means my actual face-acne is going to come back, because it all started under the jaw...

Small update

Just got back from a weekend in Manchester. I went back to see my brother since it'd been a few months since I'd seen him and if I didn't see him this weekend, I probably wouldn't have had the chance to see him until next year.

Although it didn't really feel like a whole weekend - I slept a lot. And when we weren't sleeping we played Borderlands 2 - absolutely loved the first one and even though I'm incredibly rusty with shooter games I'm enjoying this one too. Will have to wait a while to finish it off though.

Sent off the signed contracts to the recruitment company on Friday, so will wait for confirmation they've received it~

I've also not been spending as much time on me and things I want/need to do. Not worn contact lenses or make up for a week now, need to do some preening, and need to study for an upcoming Japanese exam...

Cooking with sis

Yesterday both my sister and I were quite ill. I've been having my energy issues and let myself get a bit too under the weather with girly problems, and she's been struggling with something she may have picked up in Africa. Luckily she's gotten medication for it and should be back to her energetic, spirited self soon.

Anyway, yesterday both of us ended up sleeping off our various ailments until 4pm. Then after chatting together in her room and me taking a shower to wash off the day's fatigue, we went to the supermarket. Tomorrow is a family get-together with our mum's side of the family so my sister wanted to the opportunity to bake some things for them.

She also decided we should have quiche for dinner, and since I had no dinner plans either, we decided to pick up the ingredients and make everything from scratch. This was a first for me! I've never made pastry before, let alone an entire quiche!

Since she's vegetarian we ended up making our own quiches, and this actually worked out for the best since it's easier (in my opinion) to learn to make something by making it simultaneously with the teacher.

And here is my result! Salmon, leek and parsley quiche:

Now that I know how to make pastry, I'm looking forward to making some sweet tarts soon!

Sleepy...

...but need to update my CV.

The contracts for my new job (starting in March) arrived today and I read through them word for word. Tiring, especially after a day where I kept nodding off at my desk.

Which is a little annoying - I thought at first I was nodding off cause I was skipping breakfast, but I had breakfast today and I still nodded off. Oh well...

Anyway. The contracts need an updated CV. Updating my CV is one of these little things I always put off because I don't like writing CVs :/

Also need to put more money into my savings...

This was basically a little post to say I'm still here :P

Sometimes...

...the best pleasures in life are the most simple

Random concoction

Sundries tomato cous cous, lamb's lettuce, hard boiled egg, shiitake mushrooms, chicken sausages, baby beetroot and half an avocado

Last week's shopping haul

I'm a bit behind with posting... I've gotten really bad at managing my time! When I'm not meeting up with people or at work my body just seems to want to sleep as much as possible.

Above is last week's shopping haul! I think I'm going through one of my routine "changeover" phases, where I want a new wardrobe, new accessories, new make up... It's probably because I'm starting a full-time job this week. Anyway, all of these are work appropriate (yay!) though the dress maybe is a bit smart for it, so as long as I can dress it down (e.g. with a cardigan and flats and casual day-time make up) then it should be ok.

It actually needs a couple of darts sewn in on the bust because at the moment it's very unflattering.

I'm gonna post detailed pics of each item as I start to wear them. For some reason I haven't felt like wearing them lately, which is silly, cause I've been dying for new clothes. I think I just haven't felt amazing lately (weight issues etc) which is why I've been putting it off.

Also, must apologise for the continued use of phone photos - my camera is still at my parents' apartment.