Food Changes

My sis's friend drove us to the supermarket yesterday. It's not far, but the fact that he drove us meant we could stock up with as much as we wanted. I might have gone a bit overboard because I bought £65 worth of food and drink...

I've decided to try eating more fruit and more fish. Before I started eating meat again (from the ages of 19-23 I was pescetarian) I used to eat a lot more fish, but now that I eat meat, and can eat meat anywhere due to having no religious constraints any more - I tend to default to eating (red) meat whenever I can. And I'm notoriously bad for remembering to eat fruit or veg.

Granted, I only bought 3 carrots this time, but I did buy a lot of fruit. Strawberries, green apples, red grapes and clementines. One of our brothers got my sis a juicer for Christmas (granted, not a juicer she particularly wanted...), and my first thought was to make strawberry and apple juice, which is a personal favourite of mine.

I'm also hoping to eat 3 regular meals a day instead of 1-2 because of lack of energy or time. Today I managed to wake up early and had 2 beef sausages, half a tin of sweetcorn, half a small tin of baked beans and a fried egg. I'm still not hungry and I had that nearly 6 hours ago! But I will try and eat a late lunch soon.

Lunch will be grilled mackerel fillets with white rice.

I tried to base my food shopping somewhat on some good advice I saw on Boot's WebMD site. I'll try and post the advice they gave here. It was in the form of a quiz - I got less than half the questions right which shows how much I knew about the right diet!

Full House

My sis is back from Indonesia, which is really nice :) She got back yesterday morning and her friend has been staying here with us to spend time with her. It's really nice having the house full again - the cat is super energetic again too. I think she got too used to just lying around with me and then there would be nothing else going on in the rest of the house.

Run-down

Got back from Eastbourne the day before yesterday quite late. I spent Christmas there with a friend and her family, which was fun. But then yesterday I didn't do anything except sleep and lie around and watch Grey's Anatomy.

And now today I'm barely doing anything either :( Although... yesterday I did put things into my new diary, marking the days I'm at work and when I need to have pill-free days etc.

So, I'm once again going into list mode.

Done today:

• Took all my pills and supplements
• Applied face mask to help deal with my acne
• Ripped the CDs my brother got me for Christmas
• Read over other brother's writing
• Cancelled the trail of Amazon Prime (US) I signed up for for free so I could get my brother's present to him in time for Christmas
• Checked if I can get Lovefilm in Japan (I can't :( )
• Washed my hair
• Put the towels and shower curtain in to wash
• Washing up
• Emptied soiled cat litter
• Took out recycling and compost
• Made sister's bed
• Bleached the sink
• Checked to see if I can get my meds in Japan (I can, phew)

I'm really sniffly, I'm wondering if it's a cold or allergies or being run-down. I'm off work until January 7th, and then I only have a half day because I have a doctor's appointment that afternoon. I have enough holiday pay to cover one week of paid holiday (I think), but not quite enough to cover the second week so I think I'll only get paid a bit for the second week. My dad has offered to pay the difference though, which is quite sweet of him, but will hopefully will be unnecessary. 

Productive:

Fed cat
Fed self food I really wanted
Moved money from savings to regular account til pay comes in (urge it's becoming routine)
Cleaned out and washed cat litter tray
Took out rubbish and recycling and compost
Washed sister's bedding

Left to do:
Shower
Groom cat if she holds still
Hang up laundry

Friday

I'm not at work again today. I had ridiculous nightmares last night and then found it hard to be awake and not in intense physical pain. I was sick, but nothing came out cause there wasn't much in my stomach.

So I'm at home, and trying hard to stay positive. I'm gonna have a meeting with my supervisor on Monday so we can be up to date on the grant programme I'm working on. So, I'm already planning  what I need to prepare.

My allergies are back in full swing, so I'm going to give the kitty her allergy bath and wash my bedding. Later I'm gonna make some food and clean the house.

Wrapping the cat in paper sellotape is an incredible thing for cheering me up. Since it's paper sellotape it doesn't stick well to fur, but enough chin to make her hyperactive.

I started using my blu-light again. It's supposed to be good for SAD.

Productive things I've done today

as mundane and expected as they may be, but are still an achievement for me:

• ate breakfast 
• washed my face properly
•  confided about what I feel is a weakness to my supervisor
•  took all of my pills and supplements, not just the essentials
• made my bed for the first time in who knows how long
• finally put my clean laundry away
• did all the washing up
•  made myself eat a proper meal before going out

and now an waiting for my facemask to dry and then will shower.

Escapism

I came off my contraception about 3 months ago. I was taking it for acne vulgaris, but once the acne had been gone for about a year I decided it would be ok to come off it.

The first period I had was fine but the next two came with incredibly severe pms. Curled up in a ball crying wanting to hurt myself kind of severe.

When I saw the doctor last week I told her about it and she gave me a new contraceptive for the hormone imbalance, one that is safer to take long term. I quick-started it to avoid having to wait for my next period to take it and having to deal with the horrible pms again.

It's not fully kicked in yet though, so I'm still having the horrible feelings. These days it's not so much crying and wanting to hurt myself as just curling up and trying to run away from everything.

I gave my supervisor the short version if that when I emailed her to ask for the day off. I've been missing a fair bit of work lately (but some of that has been due to the engineer not showing up when he was supposed to), and I keep telling myself I'm gonna fix myself. Instead I sleep and watch tv.

I think I've fallen into the trap I used to fall into during therapy days - trying to escape everything instead of confronting and dealing. Also, the more sleep I give myself the more I'll want... But when I give myself less sleep I just become useless.

I need to get active again. I want to blame the cold, dark winter. And maybe it is partly that. Maybe it's just me being crap.

Alex Monroe

I was impulsively window shopping with a friend yesterday - it was so impulsive that I was out, got back to my home-station and through the ticket barriers when I got her message and went straight back on the tube!

She introduced me to a jewellery brand I had never heard of before - Alex Monroe.

And I am now smitten.

Her birthday is not long after Christmas, so she's planning on putting a piece of Alex Monroe jewellery on her Christmas/birthday list - a lovely idea, especially as her upcoming birthday is her 25th. She wants something timeless and classy that can be worn everyday and I think she's picked the right brand for it.

I'm now toying with the idea of getting one myself. Thing is, my family don't celebrate Christmas really. Although us siblings will buy things for each other, I doubt any of them want to fork out over £100 (!) for a necklace for me.

That being said, I won't be able to wear either of my normal "everyday" necklaces once I move to Japan. One is a collection of 3 silver pendants on a silver chain from perhaps my favourite Japanese jewellery brand, Lemontree (a heart-shaped key, an angel wing and a crown). The other was from my sister for my 23rd birthday, a matryoshka (Russian stacking doll - I love them) - gold and silver on a long gold chain, with a pink crystal for the mouth and the bottom of it (where the metal is silver) is covered in clear crystals.

Beautiful, signature, but not suitable for a conservative workplace.

And I am one of these people who has worn a necklace of some kind for so long that I can't not wear a necklace. I do have one which I wear for interviews - also bought in Japan - which is a short silver chain with a tiny silver engagement ring (with a moonstone, for my birth-month) and a tiny silver wedding ring with clear stones running along the band. My mother bought it for me when we first visited Japan.

But, if I did want/could justify an Alex Monroe necklace, I think these are the front runners (they all come in silver, which I am leaning towards since silver is my go-to metal for jewellery, but the gold is lovely...):

Apple with peridot stone

Goldcrest with a pink sapphire and pink topaz
Leaning more towards this cause I've always wanted a sapphire....

Strawberry with pink tourmaline

Teapot with brown sapphire "teadrop"
Again, leaning more towards this because of the sapphire

Pomegranate flower with fire opal, carnelian and pink tourmaline
I love the flower, but I don't like the stones so much...

Then I had a look at their rings. Last year I lost a ring that I had been wearing almost constantly since I was 12, and then the replacement disappeared too. Right now I wear a thumb ring to replace it, but I miss having a right-ring-finger ring, and, in my opinion, a thumb ring isn't as formal or "conservative" as a thumb ring (I say "conservative" since I have to keep that in mind for my new job in March since that is the dress code). I came across these two, because I like rings that are wide, none of these dainty tiny little bands for me!

Wide bark ring with Tsavorite
Never heard of Tsavorite!

Grassblade ring with blue topaz

If I had to narrow them down, I think I know which necklaces I'd prefer. Am wondering if I should wait til I get to Japan to buy my jewellery or not though - I know I love the jewellery in Japan, but once I leave, I want to only use the money I'm taking with me for necessities for the home or for experiences rather than things. I suppose my dad did ask me about a going-away present... and, if I had to be very harsh with myself, I do have that mini-ring necklace I could use as a conservative necklace...

So tired

Had a bit of a rough week, although my mid-week post didn't really highlight that cause it wasn't such a problem then.

I'm actually too tired to write properly, but I've had a really good day. I met my colleague's girlfriend this morning and we all went on a tour of a disused London Underground station - which was interesting - and then for lunch - which was yummy.

Then I ended up travelling back to my local station when I got a text from a friend saying she was going to do some window shopping for her Christmas wish list so I hopped back on the train and went back into central. Bought a nail varnish and then sat with a chai latte in Starbucks watching Grey's Anatomy on my Kindle Fire (yay!) until it was time to meet her.

Ended up buying an Yves Saint Laurent concealer cause apparently they're really good. Will see...!

Now am just curled up on the sofa with what looks like a ridiculously bad film on in the background and under my aviator throw until I can muster the energy to do some washing up and then might actually head to bed for an early night~

Finally...

My allowance came in, so I tried getting an Oasis dress I've had my eye on for a few months, but the one I went into didn't have my size. Might try getting it tomorrow.

To celebrate having some money for fun, I decided to use a supermarket recipe card to make a "New York Cheesecake". It's cooling in the oven now, before I can transfer it to the fridge to cool overnight.

Thing is, I don't have any containers big enough to take it into work.... I could just cover it in the tin it's in and take it all in as it is. Gonna be cumbersome though. I guess I could take in a few pieces tomorrow and a few pieces on Friday, but then it's not really fair if not everyone gets a piece at the same time... is it?

... if I can't find the dress tomorrow, should I order it online? I get 15% off in store but not online, even though they have it in my size online...

Saturday night...

And I'm at home sat up in bed studying cause it's cold and I have a Japanese exam tomorrow!

Not studied at all since I started my job... and cramming doesn't work for me but I'm trying to do it anyway... and I fell asleep for ages earlier cause I just couldn't keep my eyes open despite getting a lot of sleep last night...

So, I think I'm gonna fail. But studying right now is kind of making me want to actually study when the pressure is off, so that's a good thing at least, right?

Should probably eat a real meal soon, I just had 12 yummy biscuits which had thick slabs of chocolate on top to keep me going while studying. Not the healthiest thing to have had...

Here's hoping yesterday's duck/rice lunch is ok despite me forgetting to put it in the fridge overnight... :/

Such a numpty!

Things I want vs things I should be doing with my money...

Things I want:

• Hourglass Opaque Rouge Liquid Lipstick. Ideally two, in Raven (red) and Icon (purple-red)
• 4 dresses from Oasis. I don't want to buy all 4 (yet), but I at least want to try on all 4. And knowing my luck I won't buy any. I tried on 2 that had been on my wishlist for a long time at the weekend and they both looked really bad on me. Wrong tailoring for my shape.
• Clinique Chubby Stick Intense. Yes! Shortly after saying I wanted to get a red (and maybe more) in the normal, the intense shades came out! I really want the red. It's a lovely red. I only need a few more Boots points to get one for free... I think Mightiest Marachino is the shade I want.
• Clinique Almost Lipstick in Black Honey. Black Honey is probably my favourite Clinique colour ever. Ever. I almost cried when I broke my Black Honey gradient blush palette on the bathroom floor (it shattered) because I waited too long to buy a replacement (trying to be a "good girl" and saving money) and couldn't find it anymore
• Karl Lagerfeld for Shu Uemura painting liner

Things I should be doing with my money:

• Replacing the money I took out of my savings when money was a bit tight last week.
• Adding more money to my savings
• Gradually buying things I need for Japan e.g. suits, smart tights, shirts, shoes, shoe polishing kit...

As you can see, with the purchase of 4 different MAC eye products over the last couple of months, I now want to indulge in beautiful autumn/winter lip colours. For me, autumn/winter make up colours are reds and purples. And now I want purple/red lips. Granted, I do already have some red and purple lipsticks, I guess I should make more of an effort to wear them. My Voluptuous Violet Chubby Stick is getting a lot of use these days - I feel like proper lipstick might be a bit too much for work...

Hair dye

I've been slacking off again, with everything. Well, everything not work-related.

So I've not been studying, I've not been blogging...

I just about made time to pamper myself a little, and tonight I'm finally going to dye my hair again!

My natural hair colour is - of course, since I'm of South Asian descent - very dark brown, bordering on black if not seen in natural or bright light. When I was still at school, I always wanted to dye my hair different colours, which is something my sister actually did instead of dreaming it. For almost any bright colour to show, I would have had to bleach my hair, like she did, so I ended up not doing it. It was too much hassle, I was scared of ruining my hair with super strong bleach, and the school got incredibly pissed off when my sister dyed her hair.

(at our school we had to wear uniform until we were 16, and then the rules about hair were a bit more relaxed as well. My sister started dying her hair green, blue, red etc when she was still in uniform, so there were a lot of senior staff complaints)

Then in my second year of uni (19 years old) I decided to finally dye it red. Not a firetruck red, mind, but something red that would show. My mum first suggested using henna, which is what she did when she started to go grey (a very traditional South Asian thing to do). I tried it, but it just made my hair dark brown and it smelt like henna (which I associate with mud) for ages. So I asked some friends for advice, and they recommended I try Schwarzkopf.

Anyone who knows a teeny tiny bit of German might see why someone with my natural hair colour was recommended a brand called "black head". The dyes come in different shades depending on your natural hair colour, so if you're anything from light blonde to dark brown to black, you should be able to find a shade which will show up on your hair.

Perfect for me!

And ever since I've continued dying my hair with 43, Red Passion. And gotten many compliments about it.

Sadly, it's now a very popular shade - yesterday I had to go to 3 different Boots to find it. And then a new type of their hair dye caught my eye, next to the other reds. (My one has a different picture on the box...)

A red hair dye with natural lightening in it, no need for an extra bleach step (which I don't do anyway). So I thought, why not! Although, since my hair is already mostly dyed - except for the inch of roots which is driving me mental, though since my hair is naturally dark anyway and the red isn't bright, it's not as bad as it could be - this could go horribly wrong.

If it goes wrong, I'm dying my entire head a nice light shade of brown.

We'll see.

Complexion Woes

I've not been making the time to write lately, which is a bit bad. It's good for me to have a routine, but right now my routine is work, laze around at home, sleep, go to work. And then the weekends are sleep and be lazy.

Not good!

So I joined the gym this week and am hoping to go for my first session tomorrow daytime.

At the moment, my skin is really irking me. I have deep lines under my eyes, as well as seriously dark circles, and my acne has come back under my jaw. But only on the right side...

I've been looking at some face-maps and most of them say that acne under the jaw is hormonal, though it can sometimes be kidney problems. I doubt I'm having any kidney issues, so it might be hormones. Again.

Though my sis did say she used to get a lot of acne in the same area when she was drinking coffee everyday. I don't drink coffee, but have been drinking a lot of tea lately to keep me perky at work. So, starting today, I'm going to cut tea out of my diet. I used to have the occasional cup of Assam, so will stick to that and caffeine free drinks.

Seeing my doctor in about 10 days so will ask her about it. If I can wait that long without going crazy! I'm worried it means my actual face-acne is going to come back, because it all started under the jaw...

Small update

Just got back from a weekend in Manchester. I went back to see my brother since it'd been a few months since I'd seen him and if I didn't see him this weekend, I probably wouldn't have had the chance to see him until next year.

Although it didn't really feel like a whole weekend - I slept a lot. And when we weren't sleeping we played Borderlands 2 - absolutely loved the first one and even though I'm incredibly rusty with shooter games I'm enjoying this one too. Will have to wait a while to finish it off though.

Sent off the signed contracts to the recruitment company on Friday, so will wait for confirmation they've received it~

I've also not been spending as much time on me and things I want/need to do. Not worn contact lenses or make up for a week now, need to do some preening, and need to study for an upcoming Japanese exam...

I caved!

I was supposed to be being good and not buying anything superfluous until December - my recent shoe escapade ended in me buying two pairs of ankle boots - one I am kind of kicking myself over. More on that another day...

For work, I've only been wearing my tinted moisturiser, unless my skin is incredibly blotchy or troublesome, which, thankfully, hasn't been that often recently. So I use my Illamasqua peach pigment to cover discolouration from acne and then top with tinted moisturiser all over my face.

cream pigment in "emerge". It's actually a tad brighter than in this photo

This hasn't been working as well as it used to. Originally I used an egg-shaped sponge to apply the pigment - it's a cream pigment - but found I was tugging the skin under my eyes too much, so switched to a concealer brush. The concealer brush irritated my eyes a little because it was prickly when I used it and would make my eyes water. So I've been using my finger.

Using the middle or index finger to cover the blemishes on my cheeks and chin is fine - there's not enough coverage for the under-eye though.

And, to be blunt, on its own it's just not enough to cover the dark patches. I'd gotten to the point where I would feel glum every time I saw myself in the mirror - I would instantly focus on my chin and the dark bags under my eyes which my eye cream is doing nothing to fix.

After being intrigued by a concealer from NARS yesterday, I decided that on my lunch break I would pop out to my local Space.NK to try it out.

And decided to buy it.

stick concealer in "caramel"

The plan is to use the peach pigment first, then layer the caramel-coloured NARS concealer on top, and finish with my tinted moisturiser.

I'm a bit concerned that the concealer may lack when it comes to applying it under the eyes - the woman in the shop said make sure to warm up the concealer before applying it under the eyes, so I might have to rub it on my hands and then use a brush to apply it. Which feels a bit time-consuming and potentially wasteful...

I'm hoping to have the time/energy to do a photo-entry of the process, but for now, it's just the shop photos...

• Emerge - peach cream pigment from Illamasqua, £17
• Caramel - concealer from NARS (bought at Space.NK), £17.50

Cooking with sis

Yesterday both my sister and I were quite ill. I've been having my energy issues and let myself get a bit too under the weather with girly problems, and she's been struggling with something she may have picked up in Africa. Luckily she's gotten medication for it and should be back to her energetic, spirited self soon.

Anyway, yesterday both of us ended up sleeping off our various ailments until 4pm. Then after chatting together in her room and me taking a shower to wash off the day's fatigue, we went to the supermarket. Tomorrow is a family get-together with our mum's side of the family so my sister wanted to the opportunity to bake some things for them.

She also decided we should have quiche for dinner, and since I had no dinner plans either, we decided to pick up the ingredients and make everything from scratch. This was a first for me! I've never made pastry before, let alone an entire quiche!

Since she's vegetarian we ended up making our own quiches, and this actually worked out for the best since it's easier (in my opinion) to learn to make something by making it simultaneously with the teacher.

And here is my result! Salmon, leek and parsley quiche:

Now that I know how to make pastry, I'm looking forward to making some sweet tarts soon!

Sleepy...

...but need to update my CV.

The contracts for my new job (starting in March) arrived today and I read through them word for word. Tiring, especially after a day where I kept nodding off at my desk.

Which is a little annoying - I thought at first I was nodding off cause I was skipping breakfast, but I had breakfast today and I still nodded off. Oh well...

Anyway. The contracts need an updated CV. Updating my CV is one of these little things I always put off because I don't like writing CVs :/

Also need to put more money into my savings...

This was basically a little post to say I'm still here :P

It's become essential!

Today I really have to buy a new pair of everyday shoes - the right one of my current pair has a hole in and the hole goes all the way through to the inside of the shoe...

My insole sticks out of the hole and when it rains, I end up with a wet foot :(

Like now, because I went out for lunch just as it started raining.

Camper, here I come! (after work)

Dress of the Day

Today's dress!

Today's dress comes from Oasis and is a personal favourite. I had been coveting it for a long time, this and one other from the same collection. It's from the London Love Letters collection that Oasis brought out last season. Both dresses were originally £80 each which I think is incredibly steep for an everyday dress. So I added it to my wish list and kept sighing over it for a very long time...

Until I saw they had gone into the sale! Both dresses were listed at £45 so I called up my local stockist to ask if they had them in stock in my size, whereupon they told me that they had a special on that day where they were 15% off the marked price! So I got both for £76.50. Great or what!

The body of the dress is fitted without being too tight, with a concealed side zip, cross back, and I'm wearing a size 14.

All the patterns on the dresses in this range were hand drawn. This one features flowers and postcards of places around London:

The only downside of the dress is that the lining - it has quite a high quality lining in my opinion - sometimes rides up when my bag rubs against my side and I'm wearing tights/leggings. That's a bit of an annoyance.

Sorry, that last picture is a bit low quality!

I'm glad I got this dress - I need to wear it more often! Because of my issues about my weight and the fact that the body is fitted I sometimes worry that I'm too fat in it :/ But I feel so lovely and feminine when I wear it...!

New V&A bedding - blue

The second set of new bedding I bought for my new place :)

I think I might prefer this one to the pink one. The pink one is lovely, and very princessy, but this is simple...

...and the cat loves attacking the pink one and because it's embroidered some of the threads have started to come out of the stitching :/

With its pattern of red roses, white lace, blue pinstripes and tiny blue flowers I think it's girly without being too girly and I can't wait to cuddle up in it tonight!

Sometimes...

...the best pleasures in life are the most simple

Random concoction

Sundries tomato cous cous, lamb's lettuce, hard boiled egg, shiitake mushrooms, chicken sausages, baby beetroot and half an avocado

Dress of the Day: Tuesday (updated)

Yes, I'm behind again... Cause I'm still under the weather T^T

Tuesday's dress was the first of my new collection to be worn.

Jacquard floral floppy dress, size 12, £38

(I don't have a full length mirror in my room, and I don't like to disturb my sis to use her mirror if she's in her room. Besides, she's usually asleep or still in bed when I get ready for work. She's a PhD student so works from home)

*added a picture of the detail on the dress :)

Last week's shopping haul

I'm a bit behind with posting... I've gotten really bad at managing my time! When I'm not meeting up with people or at work my body just seems to want to sleep as much as possible.

Above is last week's shopping haul! I think I'm going through one of my routine "changeover" phases, where I want a new wardrobe, new accessories, new make up... It's probably because I'm starting a full-time job this week. Anyway, all of these are work appropriate (yay!) though the dress maybe is a bit smart for it, so as long as I can dress it down (e.g. with a cardigan and flats and casual day-time make up) then it should be ok.

It actually needs a couple of darts sewn in on the bust because at the moment it's very unflattering.

I'm gonna post detailed pics of each item as I start to wear them. For some reason I haven't felt like wearing them lately, which is silly, cause I've been dying for new clothes. I think I just haven't felt amazing lately (weight issues etc) which is why I've been putting it off.

Also, must apologise for the continued use of phone photos - my camera is still at my parents' apartment.

Quickie

I got bitten by the shopping bug a couple of weeks ago, and my weekend indulgence (post to follow!) has satisfied some of the cravings...

Just checked my bank balance and my money for this month is in. Do I indulge further..? Logic is telling me not to!

Though... I do have my eye on this:

Clinique's chubby sticks! I already have voluptuous violet (#16) and oversized orange (#12), but I have my eye on a red one, either two ton tomato or chunky cherry...

I'll let you know if I give in to temptation...!

New V&A bedding - pink

My new V&A (Victoria and Albert Museum) bedding arrived last week! Finally found the time to wash the new set, dry it naturally, and dress the bed up in its new threads :D

It's too girly for my sister but since the pink is pale I like it. Ideally I wanted the silver bedding they had but it was too popular and sold out on Achica before I could get it :(

Ready for me!

This was taken earlier this week, after all my sister's ex-flatmate's crap was taken out of the room, everything cleaned and rearranged to my liking.

It's ready for me to put my finishing touches on it!

New skincare products

While I was at John Lewis I decided to buy a couple of new skincare products since I'm almost out of facewash and toner.

My friend introduced me to Liz Earle, a skincare brand that I think is relatively new, and looks really interesting. For example, the whole brand only has one type of shampoo which is supposed to work on all types of hair! Right now I'm still happy with Aussie so I don't think I'll be changing shampoo just yet, but I liked the look of their hot polish cleanser and toner.

At the moment their products are online (uk.lizearle.com) or at John Lewis. And, compared with a lot of designer store skincare, it's a lot cheaper than I was expecting!

Cleanse and Polish kit (100ml pump bottle of cleanser, 1 muslin cloth, cute little pouch), £14.25
Skin Tonic (200ml), £12.50

Both products can be used morning and night. Can't wait to try them!

Guess who else likes the aviator blanket...

Aviator Blanket!

It's been a very cold day here! It was only 6 degrees when I woke up, even though it's still September. It was so cold my sister's cat climbed under the quilt to cuddle up to me.

So I decided that I needed a throw for both on top of my blanket for when I sleep and for when I'm on the sofa. There are a lot of blankets at my parents' house but I didn't have any of my own here at my sister's.

Habitat was a disappointment, but then again it was only a small habitat, so I hopped on the bus to the local shopping centre and had a rummage around John Lewis. Most of the throws didn't have any character, though they were good quality and decently priced...

Until I spotted this one tucked away on the bottom of shelf! Done in a wool and leather aviator style, complete with buckle straps to keep it neat when not in use and a handle fit easy carrying, I fell in love with it.

I'm using it now on the sofa (second image), so comfortable!

Aviator throw (I couldn't find an official name for it), John Lewis, £60.

The downside? Dry clean only. And pure polyester! But I do love it, I like my accessories to have character, even my homeware.

Product review - Clinique Pore Minimiser

One of my major skin concerns is open pores - namely on my nose and on my cheeks just at the side of my nose, so pretty much an extension of the vertical of the T-zone.

I've been searching for ages for something that would treat them. I used to use the old Clinique Pore Refining cream, which came in a lilac tube.

Sadly, after using it for months, I found it hadn't done anything except discolour my skin slightly, making it lighter than the rest of the skin where the product hadn't been applied, so I stopped using it. I eventually found a cosmetic solution from Benefit, their Porefessional (will do a separate review for that).

Then while windowshopping recently I saw Clinique had discontinued their previous lilac-packaged serum - it had more of a lotion consistency so I don't really count it as a serum... - in favour of the gel-cream green-packaged new version.

I immediately decided when I had enough money to spare for it that I'd get it. Everyone has been telling me pores become worse when you get older - especially my mother, for whom pores are also a concern.

The new serum has a pretty hefty price tag for me: £38.00 But boasts quick results, "in 2 weeks, pores look 58% smaller. Guaranteed." as the website says.

And I have to admit, even though I was doubtful, it's true that the pores do look smaller. Blackheads are removed, there's not nearly as much dead skin collected there which I used to get, despite washing my face thoroughly twice a day.

The downside - the serum makes my skin so smooth that it feels greasy. I can't use it under make up, and if I use it when I'm wearing glasses I get frustrated at just how much more my glasses slide down my nose. It's rather annoying. On days when I'm going to be wearing make up, I just use it at night after my nighttime washing routine.

And of course the other downside is the price of it. However I've found you only need to use the tiniest amount of it to thoroughly cover the problem areas, so hopefully it'll last for a long time (I think I've been using it for about a month or just over a month now)

But, the important point, the pores are smaller.

Verdict: 7/10. (lost one point for the price, two points for the super slippery feeling)

Follow up

"Once Upon a Time" is still my post-work/pre-bed favourite right now, though some of the episodes do make me feel kinda sad. Maybe it's just me being sensitive due to being tired.

Still can't stop thinking about the Sheriff ¬_¬ damn crushes.

Got 6 mins before I have to start working.

Once Upon a Time

Started watching "Once Upon a Time".

I'm a lot more into it than I thought I'd be...

...and I can't stop thinking about the Sheriff T^T I think I have a crush on him...

...not useful when I'm at work!

Hrm (and kitten woes)

Emailed in sick to work today cause of stomach pains, headaches and body aches (approx 4 more days til the new antidepressants kick in fully, and I'm hoping they'll help with the random aches and pains) and just the fact that I can barely keep my head up above my shoulders.

Although, even though (despite having had some rest) I still feel crap, I really wish I was in work. I wish I was there being productive and helping the team.

Sigh... tomorrow I'm going to stay as late as I can, and double check if they will let me come in on Friday to make up for today (I'm a part-time temp so am only there Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday).

If not... well... it'll be a bit of a rush to get my week's work done by the end of tomorrow, but in the meeting next week I hope they'll take being ill into consideration.

Therapy yesterday was actually really good. She helped me get some perspective on the last 3 "bad" weeks by making me list everything good and everything bad from recently. 11 good which came off my tongue easily, 5 bad which I had to actually think about. It made me laugh. We've also started on mindfulness which is something I'm keen to try. She thinks I only need two more sessions, maybe three at most because of the new medication. So hopefully by September I'll be done.

I need to find something to do with my day today, even though I'm off sick. Doesn't have to be anything big (I really wish I could invite H round for some True Blood and junk food, but she's so busy getting everything done at work before going on holiday.

----

Just had to stop writing for a while. Flatmate's boy kitten pissed on my blanket... sigh. Was furious. Sheets are in the wash and quilt has been cleaned with heavy duty antibacterial liquid and super hot water in the bath, it's drying now...

The bit that drove me over the edge - I could've forgiven his kitten for being all male and deciding to piss on stuff - was flatmate saying it's cause our kitty peed on the bed first.

She'd been leaving some kind of colourless food-scented liquid on the bed when it was hot, but it smelt more like sick than pee, and it was colourless, big giveaway. Anyway.... when he suggested she was some unhousebroken little sh*t I lost it. We've had her since March and even when she first got here, she knew where and where not to go to the toilet.

That's when I lost it and raised my voice to him. He retreated to his room, I sent some ranty texts to a friend, and then started soaking the quilt. Decided some tea was in order, and in order to be a grown up about it, I asked him if he'd like to join me for tea, which he did willingly.

While it was brewing we sat at the table and discussed it like adults, and then had a general light-hearted conversation over tea. He's scared about his kitten peeing on everything now, it's 2 more months until he can get him neutered. I said I'm scared of our kitty peeing on the quilt because it still smells like boy-kitten's pee, but he assures me that since kitty is a girl, she won't do that sort of thing.

I hope not. She's been so well behaved since day one, the only annoying thing she does is jump on the worktop and she doesn't do that any more...

Sigh

Waiting for my therapy session. I don't really want to be here today - my therapist has been away for 3 weeks. Completely unrelated to that, I've had a pretty lousy 3 weeks (due to switching meds), but I know she's going to want to talk about it a lot.

I don't want to talk about it, but I feel that's unproductive. Even though I know the meds had a lot to do with it, a lot of my old insecurities came up again.

But, now, they don't bother me as much, if at all - surely it was just the chemical withdrawal and subsequent imbalance?

Oh well. After this I can go home, shower, and relax. And make lunch for tomorrow if I have the energy.

No retail therapy for me...

Retail therapy used to be one of my biggest vices. Any time I felt a bit sad or low - for someone with manic depression, this happens a fair bit - I'd buy something pretty.

About a month ago my doctor and I decided it was time to switch antidepressants. I'm (hopefully) moving to Japan at the end of the year, for a minimum of one year, and the antidepressants I was on are unavailable in Japan for some reason, even though ones with a very similar chemical structure are available.

So I've switched onto the ones I can get in Japan, so we can see how well I take to them.

I had a really, really rough 3+ weeks while I came off the other ones, and I'm still not completely back to functioning near 100%. I'm tired a lot, with random body pains, which makes it hard to keep high-spirited.

Hopefully within another week I'll be back to "normal".

Anyway, since I didn't have a job for a few months my savings ran out and I've had to watch every penny. Sure, I get an allowance from my dad (until I find a full-time job that can support living wherever I am), but I can't spend it as frivolously as I thought I could, and even now that I have a temp job, I'm still counting the pennies.

So even though I accompanied a friend pre-holiday shopping yesterday, and even though I saw some dresses I want, I didn't buy anything. I guess our post-shopping meal was a treat though (ate way too much in the end! D'oh).

....with my spending down to the essentials, my wish list on Amazon keeps getting longer and longer, haha :P

First Post!

Finally decided to move onto blogger, but with leaving all my old Wordpress posts behind.

I don't really like writing introductory posts, but things I'll be writing about include:

• Books. I'm a bookworm and love to curl up with a book
• Make up. I'm obsessed
• Japan. My home away from home

And then anything else that takes my fancy.

Right now I don't have time for a real entry. I need to find my sister's kitty and give her her hypoallergenic bath cause I'm sneezing like crazy. And, to top it off, I've lost my antihistamines >.<;;